Prompt 1:
Two people are sitting together under the remains of a concrete bridge. Their backs are against a rusted bridge support. One person’s leg is cut. The other person has wet hair.
- Write a short story/flash fiction piece of less than 200 words based on the prompts
“Final Judgment” by Amy Marie
Gabe leaned against the crumbling support. Rivulets of river water streamed from his hair, saturated after pulling Michael to safety. Just outside the shelter of the bridge, a bomb burst in a cloud of heat and death. Gabe eyed the deep gash in Michael’s leg. It ran from calf to thigh, where a spike of dull, grey metal was embedded.
“Father has called us home. Can you make it?”
“Give me a minute.” Michael shut his eyes as blood slithered slowly down his leg.
A woman and a small child dressed in a filthy pink dress, crouched at the other end of the bridge as gunfire gnawed at the cement. Gabe could smell their fear, like a birthday cake left to rot.
Michael opened his eyes. “Do you think humans are evil or stupid?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think.” Gabe turned away as the mother scooped the child up, rocked her against her chest. “Or why they fight us. Only Father can judge them.”
Gabe pulled Michael to his feet. With one liquid movement, they tossed themselves into the sky, soaring on wings laced with fire. The woman’s eyes scorched as she watched the angels fly toward Heaven.
I liked the way you incorporated the angels, Gabrielle and Michael into your story. Nicely done.
Whoa! I would TOTALLY read on… you’ve got a nice quality to your writing–where the story just carries itself. Off to go “like” it… really, lovely work.
Nice take on the challenge. I really enjoyed it.
I like how when I read this story twice, the details fell into place- the two angels, their reference to God, a clever use of the prompt. Thanks for sharing!
#35
Just a note to say you’ve made it to the next stage of judging
I really liked this one!
Nicely done!! An unexpected twist in the end.
The title and subject are beautifully linked. I loved the reference to GAbriel and Michael. Well done!
Nicely written. I liked the twist at the end with the angels.
Wow, nice work! I love that they “tossed” themselves into the sky. It definitely had a twist I didn’t expect!!
Good job, Amy! I really enjoyed this piece.
That was just awesome.
Interesting story. I liked how you used Gabriel and Michael.
Using Gabriel and Michel was a great touch! Well done!
Loved those descriptors – gunfire gnawing at cement…birthday cake left to rot. Nice job!
Melissa Maygrove #14
My first thought was that they were aliens and “Father” was their leader. Great twist having them be the angels, Gabriel and Michel. Of course, Father IS their leader. I enjoyed this very much.
I really love that you used Gabriel and Michael as characters! I like the Christian theme here
Wow! Fantastic story with very original descriptions. This is one of the best I’ve read. You totally deserve to move on to the next round! Congratulations!
Congratulations! You’ve been shortlisted to the semi-finals=)
Congratulations! You have moved to the finals!
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Hey Amy, great entry, I love how creative this is. Didn’t see the twist coming at the end – well done
Congratulations – I’ve awarded you fifth place in the Judging Round! Make sure you check out my post to see the cool prizes you’ve won
Congrats again!
Hugs,
Rach
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